04/29/2003
Little one has passsed away. Yesterday we went for a routine ultrasound, and found that Little One has no heartbeat. The estimate is that he/she died a couple of weeks ago, based on development. I will be having a D&C within the next few days to remove the remains. We may be able to find out what happened through chromosomal analysis, as well as finding out the gender.

As the emotional roller coaster nears its sad end, I am constantly aware of how fortunate I am to have David by my side. He has been wonderfully supportive and compassionate. His only concern is how I am doing, and if there is anything he can do to help make things easier for me. I love and appreciate him now more than ever.

On February 10, 2003, I had a positive pregnancy test. We don't know when I'm due, but will find out, hopefully on March 18, when I have an OB appointment. Given the situation, I will probably get an ultrasound at that time. That will give everyone a better idea of how far along I am.

This baby was not planned, but we are happy about it. I admit to being somewhat overwhelmed at the moment. I had been planning on having gastric bypass surgery, which would have happened within the next few months. That has obviously been put on hold until after the baby is born.

I called David at the office and asked him "What is the least convenient possible news I could give you?" He said his imagination wasn't up to it, or words to that effect. When I told him, I could hear his smile over the phone, which was definitely reassuring.