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PRESURGERY: 07/04/2002 07/06/2002 08/22/2002 08/31/2002 03/08/2003 05/03/2003 05/11/2003 05/12/2003 05/17/2003 05/26/2003 05/30/2003 06/02/2003 06/04/2003 06/05/2003 06/09/2003 06/12/2003 06/25/2003 07/02/2003 07/10/2003
Sorry, one of my pet peeves is self-appointed "experts" who feel qualified to judge me and my weight, and they know exactly what I need to do. The vast majority of these individuals think that because their sister/aunt/mother/friend lost twenty pounds on whatever diet, that it's easy. That's just the beginning. The problem isn't just losing the weight, but being able to sustain the weight loss.
So that's enough of the rant. A few months ago I had seen my regular doctor (about something else, probably just a checkup, but I don't remember) and she had mentioned (extremely briefly) that if I wanted to discuss surgical treatment, that was an option. I had an appointment with her on 06/10/2002 to start the referral process. She had said it usually takes about a year before the surgery actually occurs. I got a booklet from the Kaiser Education office before leaving that day. I have also done some research on-line. I do think I'm being realistic in my expectations regarding surgery.
The next steps are an appointment with a nutritionist (scheduled for 08/30/2002) then a psych evaluation, followed by a return appointment with my regular doc. I'll probably write more before the next appointments. Keep an eye on this space for the next installment!
One of the items discussed during the meeting is the psychological impact, and how major weight loss can affect marriages by completely altering the dynamics of the relationship. David and I are committed to keeping the lines of communication open. Fortunately, we do communicate well, and he is very supportive. And no, I'm not going to get skinny and find myself a boy toy. I appreciate and respect David too much for that sort of nonsense!
The next step in the whole process is a psych consult, which is next week. I don't really know what to expect from that, but I'm not going to worry about it too much. I think I'm pretty reasonable in my expectations, I have a very strong relationship with David, who is committed to helping me after the surgery. I have a strong sense of who I am, and so I don't expect major identity problems after losing weight. I'll still be the same me we all know and love, only less so?
In the meantime, I am continuing to attend two support group meetings a month, and will probably be attending a monthly case management group once a month. I need to find out if they want me to attend that one, since my surgery has been postponed. It sounds like I can have the surgery within a few months of delivery, depending on if I am nursing. I will be trying to nurse for at least the first couple of months. However, I was never able to successfully nurse Isaac, since my milk never really came down. So we'll see how all that shakes out. I do know that the daycare where Isaac goes will take infants as young as three months. My guess is that the surgery will happen after Little One is there. That way, the entire load won't be on David.
I'll try to keep you posted better, but right now everything is on hold.
I have a new tool to monitor the process. I started by looking for computerized calorie counters with additional nutritional info, such as protein, vitamin content, etc. I discovered something called DietOrganizer. It includes info from the Department of Agriculture about ~6000 foods, with the ability to add foods. I can use it to track my measurements in addition to my weight. I can also log exercise, and it calculates the calorie usage, factoring in the fact that different weight bodies use different amounts of energy to do certain exercises. I have also set goals for daily intake of certain nutrients, such as protein, iron, vitamin B12, etc. This is useful because after surgery, certain nutrients are not as well absorbed, so intake needs to be increased.
The program is called DietOrganizer, costs $39.95, and can be downloaded at www.dietorganizer.com. There is a free trial version available, so you can try it before you buy it. I researched about ten programs before deciding on this one. The ease of use, ability to add foods, log exercise calorie usage, and general versatility I found to be superior. The only feature it lacks is an electric cattle prod to get me out of my recliner and on the exercise bike!
David is also somewhat uncertain as to what is good food for me, and what is not. This whole thing is a learning process for all of us!
Got the ProComplex yesterday, and had the first taste this morning. I'm still tapering off coffee, since caffeine is forbidden after the surgery. This morning I was planning on having one scoop of the chocolate flavor ProComplex, seven ounces of coffee, and a cup of skim milk whipped together in the blender. Unfortunately, it turned out we were out of my milk, so I substituted a banana instead of the milk. Not a bad combination. I'd heard of chocolate combined with coffee, and chocolate combined with banana, but not all three
I did do pretty well for breakfasts, since we took a blender and ProComplex.
I had a terrible time sleeping, since the bed was extremely hard. I kept waking up with whichever hip I was sleeping on aching badly from the weight pressing down on it. So my bones were very achy all day.
Tonight we went to dinner at Mel's (or whatever they're called these days). I decided on the tostada salad with chicken breast. It was HUGE! Although I ate too much of the things in it that aren't so good for me, I did also get some ideas on how to adapt the recipe. I came up with the idea of mixing salsa with either nonfat yogurt or NF sour cream. That might be an interesting dressing. NF or LF refried beans and cheddar cheese would make the fat grams come down. Skip the olives. (although I'd rather not).
Tomorrow I'm off to get my hair cut. I'll also take a look (maybe) for a replacement exercise bike. I can at least see what's available.
I've just fired off a note to Chevy's suggesting that they have the nutritional information available on their website.
I have a support group meeting tonight, with a new group in Richmond. This one is led by a professional, rather than lay-led like the other two I've been going to. That reminds me, I need to look into finding a sitter for Wednesday nights when I have the other groups I go to. I have meetings on the first and third Wednesday evenings, and David has a programmer meeting every other Wednesday. Sometimes that means we have meetings on alternate Wednesdays, but then we'll encounter a month with five Wednesdays and then the meetings are on the same night again. That's the situation we're in now. Also it would be nice to go out to dinner sometime without having to worry about Isaac's behavior.
I notice that I'm starting to play mind games with myself. I find myself thinking "I didn't have that last bacon avocado cheeseburger (with mayo and fries)." I'm also starting to encounter bouts of hunger, which really hadn't been a problem for the first couple of weeks of dieting. Argh!
Now I'm realizing that I will mostly have to say good-bye to dark meat chicken and turkey, since they have much more fat. I just don't like chicken breast as much! Sigh.
The next thing that happened is that I actually exercised this afternoon! I had planned on using the exercise bike for twenty minutes, but could only handle about seven minutes. I could probably have gone a few more minutes, but I also know myself well enough to know that if I were in severe pain the following day, that would serve as a disincentive. That's okay, I'll go for a bit longer each day. This is a process, not an event.
Went to the bigger, non-Pacific Bariatric meeting tonight. I always enjoy the meetings. In fact, I enjoy all the meetings I've been to, either in Oakland or Richmond. I found out that one of the gals who was going to have surgery late in March had had some delays, but is going down to Pacific Bariatric next week. We were talking about ProComplex and different ways to mix it. She mentioned that she had been looking for the packets, but was having problems finding them. I remembered that I had found an ad for variety packs, but couldn't remember where. Fortunately, I was able to find the site by checking my Mozilla history. I was able to send her the link, as well as info about the Yahoo groups I have been reading. That reminds me, someone gave me an e-mail address, and I'm pretty sure it was so I could send the Yahoo group info. I'd better do that before I have another brain fart and forget. Besides, it's pretty late.
Hey, I just realized something. I seem to have more energy! Does this make sense? I am ingesting less energy in the way of calories, but am expelling more in the form of exercise. So how do I have more energy? COOL! Now if I could only get rid of the backache that has been plaguing me all day!
We had had tickets for "A Day Out With Thomas" (the tank engine) for weeks, and that was yesterday. That was in Sacramento, so we met my mother there. Fortunately Isaac was feeling a lot better, although he did get somewhat cranky later in the day. Of course, it didn't help that he didn't get a nap. The problem I had was that I felt awful, particularly later in the day. I got a bad headache, and was definitely feverish. I did take some ibuprofen and David drove home. Not too long after we got home, Isaac declared that he was sleepy, so he went to bed. I went to bed not too long after. I turned off the light before 8:30. I still feel like someone sandpapered my throat, and somewhat headachy, but not as bad as yesterday. So I don't know how I'll do today. I know I won't eat anything I shouldn't. I'm just not sure I'll eat everything I should, or that I'll get my exercise in. I'll try to update later. I must say, keeping this journal, whether anyone reads it or not, is being useful.
Late evening: I don't believe this! I haven't done the exercise bike for two weeks, and I survived doing TWENTY MINUTES this evening. I just finished a few minutes ago, so am still pretty hot and sweaty. Once I stopped I started coughing, but did pretty well. Yeay Eleanor!
I am so excited! So much so that I wasn't able to sleep well last night. I've been having problems sleeping for the past few nights. I might end up going back on the Trazadone until after the surgery.
I did do one thing slightly naughty last night. I felt like going out to dinner with David last night. We went to a nearby Japanese restaurant, and I had sushi with teriyaki salmon. The meal started with miso soup and a salad with a peanut dressing. I still haven't finished entering the meal in DietOrganizer, since it's a bit tricky figuring out how much of what was in the meal. That is one advantage to eating at home, since that means I can control what I eat. Oh well, I do think I made pretty good food choices, going for low carb (except the rice in the sushi. I didn't even eat my rice. Isaac got that.
How about that, a binge of Japanese food? No chocolate, no high fat, none of that sort of stuff. No chocolate, no cheese, nothing like that.
The meeting with Dr. Fisher went extremely well. I had some questions for him, which he answered quite nicely. I think he was somewhat impressed by my preparation, both in terms of asking educated questions, and in terms of the exercise I have been doing.
We did discuss protein shakes. He said that some patients have claimed that they were doing the shakes the way they were supposed to, just mixing with water, and either not losing weight or losing slowly. I pointed out that the shakes I do have at least 20 grams of protein, and less than 130 calories. Neither one of us can understand how someone can get too many calories from those, unless they're putting other stuff in the shakes. I suggested to Dr. Fisher that I do the shakes for the first two weeks. Then at the time of my follow-up, two weeks after surgery, if I haven't been losing at the rate he and I think I should, I'd do things his way. He said that sounded fine to him. Then he had another question for me.
Apparently one of his patients had lost the 10% required, and was scheduled for the 15th, and decided to cancel. Did I want to have the surgery on the 15th instead of the 22nd? Needless to say, I said YES! He said I'd been doing very well, and he has no doubt that I'll do well after the surgery.
So then I needed to find out about doing a mini pre-op class, since I had been scheduled for the one on the 17th. I ended up talking to Chris, the case manager. I showed her the printouts from the DietOrganizer program and gave her copies of the lists of Yahoo groups I find useful and the support group meetings I know about. We left it that her assistant was going to call me tomorrow with information about when where etc. Then I went and got blood drawn. I had gotten there not long after ten this morning, and left about five in the evening, by the time I finished getting stuck. Busy, exciting day!
Then David, Isaac, and I went out to dinner. I was slightly naughty, but really pretty good. Mostly protein, not too much fat. I'm pretty sure I finished the day under 1000 calories. What a day! I'm still very excited, and it's after eleven. I'm going to go upstairs, take some trazadone, and try to get some sleep.
I'm waiting for the "lift team" to come help me out of bed for walkies. They got me up earlier. Not fun! I'm okay (sort of) while lying down or standing up, but the transition from one to the other is a big ouch!
At this point I'm on NO pain meds, although they're available.
OK, to backtrack a bit - Tuesday night was pretty bad. People came in every two hours to get my vitals, and I was supposed to walk every four hours. At one point I was going to walk, but had to do some deep breathing first. I guess that brought up some remnants of the anesthetic gas. The nurse said that happens. Anyway, I started feeling like I was going to throw up, although I didn't. That was pretty miserable, although at least they didn't make me walk on that occasion. I really don't remember what time that was.
Wednesday morning Dr. Fisher came by. He said I was okay for clear liquid diet. He said my pouch is about 30 ccs. That's less than half a ProComplex scoop! Now the trick is not to stretch it out. Dr. Fisher also said I'd probably go home Thursday. I had been figuring Friday, but that's not what he thinks. Honestly, I didn't believe him then, but now I do.
Sorry, I realize this is rambling, but it is the middle of the night, and I'm doing this on my Palm Pilot, which isn't meant for long entries. Live with it.
Anyway, Wednesday I really turned a corner. I got disconnected from my IV. I got rid of my catheter. I can get out of bed by myself and walk the circuit without help and without a walker. I guess I really will be ready to go home!
Teddy came by to visit. She's like my mentor. She had the surgery about three years ago, and says it saved her life. Anyway, she brought me some sort of botanical drink, which she says she loves. That was so sweet of her. Then Chris the case manager came by to let me know about a bunch of follow-up appointments and to see how I was doing. Then David brought Isaac for a short visit.
I also got calls from Dad and from Berenice. All in all, a busy day!
Well, I'm going to drink another ounce of my herb tea, then go to sleep!
10:23 p.m. I'm home, and definitely glad to be. I had hundreds of Yahoo discussion group messages. I'm not even half way through them. I will be sleeping in my big recliner downstairs, since the waterbed sounds like a bad idea. Getting up from a chair is bad enough! I did have Isaac on my lap for a few minutes this evening. I explained that he needed to stay on my legs, and not lean on my tummy. Now if I could only convince Goodnik, the 14 pound cat of that! She has really missed me!
One thing that was kinda fun is that while I was waiting for my pain shot before I left the hospital, I had already dressed and saw Steve Brook, Chris Powell, and a bunch of other people go past my door. I figured they were part of the pre-op class I would have been in if my surgery hadn't been rescheduled. So I wandered out and said hello. I think it was Steve who asked how I was doing. I said something along the lines of "If you want me to BS you, you're talking to the wrong person!" Then I told them how my stay had been. I let them know that the first 24 hours were basically hell, but then it would start getting dramatically better. I think (hope?) they appreciated the honesty!
Well, I do need to get some sleep. I hope to sleep better in my chair than I did at the hospital. At least no one will be taking my vitals.
I've been on "full liquids" since I left the hospital. A few days ago I started going nuts. I wanted something I could CHEW. Gum is a no-no, since we tend to swallow air, which can get caught in our pouches and become really uncomfortable. David very sweetly heated up two ounces of Progresso Chicken Barley soup for me. It has veggies like carrot, celery, but they are really quite soft, as is the barley. I did make sure they were thoroughly chewed before swallowing. The only items that were not already soft were the chunks of chicken. I would take a small piece in my mouth (about a quarter of the original piece) and thoroughly chew it before swallowing. Doing that, I actually had something to chew, that was a bit savory, rather than sweet. Most of the things on the full liquids diet are sweet, and I wanted something that wasn't.
I admit (mea culpa!) that last night was the first time I really did any exercise since leaving the hospital. David had to pick up Isaac at daycare (about three blocks away). We walked together the first block (fairly long, slightly uphill) then he went on ahead. The plan was that he would come back with Isaac, and we would walk back home together. During the time he was collecting Isaac, I turned the corner and walked the block at the top of the hill, as it were. So we all met up about a block earlier than originally planned. We all walked down the hill on the street parallel to the one we live on, then over and back to our house. In other words, I walked around the block.
I'm a bit embarrassed to say that that pretty well wiped me out. I know, that means I need to do that more often, and I plan to. I need to get my stamina back up. I might also try the exercise bike, although I'm afraid it will hurt my tummy. I do have the "binder" they gave me, which is a large, adjustable elastic band which goes around the waist and helps support the tummy. I did appreciate having it during the walk last night.
Well, I have an appointment this morning with Chris, the case manager. David has to come with me, because I'm not supposed to drive until cleared to do so by the surgeon. My next appointment with him is Thursday, day after tomorrow. He will probably remove my stitches and hopefully clear me to drive.
Oh, the one other thing about all this is that I was thinking I would spend the first couple of weeks, or at least several nights, sleeping in the recliner downstairs. We have a waterbed (old fashioned like a big plastic bag filled with water in a wooden frame) and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to get out of it. About three in the morning on my second night home, I woke up and decided I was going to risk it. I was tired of sleeping in the chair by myself (except the cat). So I made my way upstairs and managed to get into bed. To say the least, David was surprised when I suddenly joined him. I didn't even have much trouble getting out of bed in the morning. Fortunately I had gotten practice getting out of bed while pregnant, and was able to use the same technique. Dr. Fisher thought I wouldn't be able to sleep in the waterbed for a couple of weeks!
Well, I guess that's enough for now. Isaac is up, and we need to get him ready for school and try to get some breakfast into him.
I really haven't had any food problems, except when I forget I can't scarf my food like a normie, and something feels like it gets stuck. It'll feel like I have a fist-sized rock stuck behind the middle of my breastbone. Although I know we aren't supposed to drink with our meals, when that happens, I take a couple of swallows of water to help things unstick. As long as I chew thoroughly and eat slowly, I seem to be fine. Of course, I have been careful not to push it.
On Tuesday I overdid it. I took the gray car in to be smogged, then went for a walk while waiting. I ended up walking too far, getting overheated and dehydrated. It didn't help that I was wearing the wrong shoes, and got some NASTY blisters on my feet. I was pretty well wiped out the rest of the evening. Oh, and it turned out that the car's computer, the smog station's computer, and the state computer don't talk well together. I have to take the car to the dealership on Monday, so they can smog it. Sigh.
On Wednesday, David's sister Jeanne and her partner Patti came for a visit. Patti's cousin got married, so they were out for that. Because my feet were still miserable, I drove to the tot park near daycare, while everyone else walked to pick Isaac up at daycare, then to the tot park. We all had a nice visit for a couple of hours. Then Jeanne and Patti's ride came to get them. Then David, Isaac, and I went to a local Japanese restaurant. I was feeling daring and wanted sushi. So I had a sushi and tempura combo. I had about three bites of the salad, which had a peanut dressing. Passed up the soup. Had three of the small pieces of California roll sushi, the two tempura shrimp, and one green bean. Didn't eat any of the rice. Came charging home, changed my clothes, then went to the support group in Oakland. It's nominally for Pacific Bariatrics people, but isn't limited. It was a great meeting.
On Thursday, I got up early to go to the orientation meeting at Richmond. I felt it was important, not only to support the people who were where I was five months ago, but also the Richmond program, which I credit with saving my life. Toward the end of the meeting Chris, the Case Manager, invited me to address the group. I don't necessarily consider myself the best example, but I was there. I told them that I had been there five months ago, and why I had had the surgery. I also told them how excited I was to have had it. I also invited anyone with questions to drop me a line. Then I got home, tried some of the leftover sushi, and got sick. It was probably the nigiri sushi that did it. I felt pretty crappy the rest of the day.
Friday, was been pretty quiet, except for lots of activity on the Yahoo groups. One person who had been there had some wonderfully flattering things to say. I quote:
Yesterday (Saturday) afternoon I felt like having gyros. I do love lamb. So we went to the Emeryville Public Market, where there are a lot of different food stands. There's one there that has nice gyros that we've been going to for years. Well, after I had had a few pieces, I started to feel like it had gotten stuck. I ended up having to go puke a couple of times. David drove home, which was a good thing, since I puked a couple more times into a paper cup on the way home. One nice thing about the surgery is that when I barf, the valume is pretty low, and it's mostly mucus. Sorry to gross you out there.
This morning, instead of a protein shake, I decided to have a bit of the leftover gyros. Had no problems. Had some more at lunch, and it felt like it got stuck. This evening I cut some of the leftover into pieces, threw it into a small pan, heated it up, and threw a couple of eggs in (after the meat was warmed up) and scrambled it all together. No problem. Go figure. I guess the problem yesterday may have been that I ate too fast. I know a few times I've felt like something got stuck, and it was usually because either I ate too fast, or it was too dry. I'm learning.
I'm in a rather strange position. I have read a fair amount about the surgery, and have learned a lot from the Yahoo postings. It amazes me that some people apparently look on me as some sort of expert. I don't think I try to come across that way, but I do share what I've learned. This afternoon, someone had asked on one of the groups where to get protein powders. It turns out she lives in Richmond. She sent me a private e-mail, asking me to call her. So I did so, and we ended up chatting for just over an hour. David had taken Isaac to ride a water taxi. It was a wonderful chinwag.
Well, I need to wrap this up, since I need to head to bed pretty soon. I have to take the car in tomorrow and see if I can get it smogged. At this point the registration is overdue, becahse of the inability to smog it last week. I also need to do some other shopping. And I need to upload this and some other files I've been working on.
Right now, my weight loss seems to have stalled. I know this is common a few weeks after surgery, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. I decided I needed to get more exercise. I've been doing more walking, doing things like picking Isaac up at daycare. Today I joined the YMCA so I could go to their water aerobics classes. I know a lot of people with bad knees who swear by water aerobics. Last night I ordered two swimsuits, quick while they were still available. The stores are clearing out swimwear preparing for fall. I'm hoping they arrive soon. In the meantime, I'll keep forcing myself to walk more. Hmm, maybe I should see about getting myself back on the exercise bike. I haven't been on it since my surgery. Right now I don't want to build muscle, since I want the scales to go down. But the Y does have an excellent Women's Fitness Center with all the fancy machines. I figure I'll start with those in a few months.
Alright, it's clear I know what I need to do. I need to pay more attention to what I'm eating. I'm not willing to go back to plain bland, but I do need to start paying more attention to portion control. I also need to get off my duff and do more exercise. Oh my gosh, what a concept! Eat less, eat only the right things, exercise more, lose weight! At least I don't seem to find it as hard as it used to be before the surgery. Still ain't fun!
So what I am doing about it? Well, since I think part of the problem is that I may have stretched my pouch, I'm doing a protein feast for three days to see if that helps shrink the pouch. A protein feast is just protein, no carbs. Most of the time it is just protein shakes, which is what I will be doing. Some people add one meal of chicken, fish, or another protein source.
I will also be resuming the exercise bike, and when my feast is over, I will be going back to weighing and measuring everything. Chris did say that I shouldn't worry about building muscle, because doing so will increase my metabolic rate. Okay, back on the bike tomorrow.
Tomorrow I need to find a place to have Isaac's birthday party. I'm also going to have to figure out what we will have for that. I'm leaning toward a meat and cheese platter, and maybe some raw veggies. Of course I will have to get some sort of cake, but I won't eat any of it. I might make David cut and serve. I think we'll have it in Tilden Park near the steam trains, since Isaac really likes the trains.
I also printed a copy for Dr. Fisher and dropped it off before my nutritionist appontment in the afternoon.
In the afternoon, as I said, I had an appointment with Beth, who is the new nutritionist. She said she didn't think the lack of weight loss is due to the shakes, but instead is probably due to the lack of exercise. She said that I probably could get all the protein I need from food. I'm to have three ounces of meat or three eggs at each of my three meals. I did ask her about what I heard that we don't absorb protein from food all that well, and that the protein from the shakes is better absorbed. She said she would be looking into that.
When I got home, there were a lot of messages on the Yahoo groups. Some of them were attacking Dr. Fisher, calling him a jerk, hypocrite, etc. Some were attacking me, saying that if I wasn't going to do what the doctor told me, I had no business having had the surgery at all. Most of the messages were pretty supportive. After reading some of the more vitriolic ones, I felt I needed to send a follow-up message. Here it is:
Well, on one of the groups, which happens to be one of the smaller ones, with quite a few people who know me through the support group meetings, one person (whom I do not believe I have met in person) in particular expressed strong disgust toward me and everything I had said. It was a personal attack. What I was surprised by was the reaction of others to her message, particularly from people who have met me in person. What followed was a flurry of quite nasty messages, many of them attacking her. Finally I felt I needed to do what I could to calm things down some, so I posted the following message:
Fortunately the uproar seems to have stopped.
The only other thing going on is that Isaac's birthday is coming up. I had been planning on having his birthday party at Tilden Park near the steam trains. Come to find out that there aren't any picnic tables near the trains. I also wanted to reserve tables, but that turned out to be impossible. So I tried the zoo, which is where his birthday party was last year. All the tables were reserved. I finally decided the heck with it and made reservations at El Torito. His party will be on Sunday the 31st, which is actually the day after his birthday. I'm a little nervous about how I'm going to do, but I figure I'll have a small piece of the carnitas and either some salad or some fruit. The restaaurant will provide a small sundae for Isaac, in lieu of a birthday cake. That should be fine.
I'm actually pretty pleased at how I did at dinner. Isaac had spaghetti and meatball, large portions of which ended up distributed all over him. David had eggplant parmegiana. I had a calimari salad, which did also have a few shrimp. I didn't even have any of the focaccia (I LOVE focaccia). After we were done, we ordered chocolate mousse with a candle for Isaac. It turned out he didn't much like it. Oh well, so he didn't eat much of that. And I didn't even TASTE it! Hurray me!
Tomorrow we're having that brunch buffet for Isaac's birthday party. I'll just have to be careful. I might sneak a scale with me to keep an eye on how much food I'm getting. I think I'll do pretty well. After all, there well be a lot of eyes watching me.
Well, I'd better head off to bed pretty soon. Isaac's party is in exactly twelve hours. There's a bunch of stuff I need to do tomorrow before the party, including give him a bath to finish washing off the rest of the spaghetti.
First of all, I fear my surgeon and I have come to a parting of the ways. His attitude is that if someone doesn't lose all their excess weight in six months, they probably never will. The problem is that he apparently doesn't believe in plateaus. If someone's weight loss has stalled, that person is obviously doing somehing wrong. I know several people who are no longer getting follow-up, because they don't want to be made to feel like a failure.
I have left a message for my primary doc asking for a standing lab order, so I can track my own lab results. That way I can address problems before they become critical.
Since my surgery, I have lost more than 45 pounds, which is about half a pound a day. I can deal with that. Not only that, but I already have more energy, and can do a lot of things I haven't been able to do for years. Feels good! Sorry Doc, I refuse to feel like a failure!
Last Saturday we all went to the zoo. I rode the merry-go-round with Isaac three times, the little roller coaster once, the train once, and watched him ride on the little cars several times. Then we went into the zoo area, and walked around for a while. I was pleased that although I was tired, I wasn't constantly looking for a bench to sit down on. In fact, it was David who decided it was time to go, since we had been planning on going to IKEA to get me a desk to use for studying. In the past, I would have been constantly sitting down to rest for a couple of minutes.
One thing I have learned, through repeated demonstration, is that I cannot handle simple carbs. If I eat bread, pasta, or potato, I puke it right back up. I can eat a small amount of rice, at least in sushi. I'm still learning what pouchie will tolerate. That's okay.
Oh, there is one other piece of news. I encouraged (bullied?) David into an appointment with his doc to see about a referral for the surgery himself. He is a few inches shorter than I am, and at this point is about fifteen pounds heavier than I am. I went with him to the doctor's, and his doc agrees that he is a good candidate. It should help with his sleep apnea, and his cholesterol.
The one concern I have is that because of my conflict with the folks in Richmond, I don't want David to suffer any repercussions. There are some things that will be happening in the next few weeks that will clarify if that will be a problem or not. If it looks like it will be, we'll push to have his surgery at either South San Francisco or Pacific Bariatrics in San Diego.
Well, got some stuff I need to do before I go to bed, and it's starting to get late, so I'd better sign off and upload this.
Anyway, that gives anyone interested a rough idea of what is going on with me. I am incredibly happy, and grateful. At the risk of repeating myself, LIFE IS GOOD!
First of all, I think I might be at goal. When I started, I thought I wanted to get down to about 150. Well, right now, I think I might be too thin above the waist. I still have a fair amount to lose in the thighs, and little on my butt, but I don't see it coming off there. I think any more weight I lose would come from the face, arms, and upper body. I think I will probably have plastic surgery on my thighs in about a year. That will give my weight time to distribute itself where it will.
It certainly has been a wonderful ride so far. I have far more energy than I think I've ever had before. I can even keep up with Isaac, who is now four. I'll be dressing up as a VAMPire for Halloween. Have I done everything perfect? No. I sometimes eat things I shouldn't. I do try to focus on protein, and am a firm believer in protein drinks. I know how I feel when I drink them, and how I feel when I don't. That's why I do.
Well, I publicly stated that I'd upload pictures this evening, so will finish this entry so I can upload it too.
Date last modified: 10/21/2004
all contents © 2002-2003 by Eleanor Oster