You are at home > gastric bypass > expectations

I decided to make a list of what I expected the benefits of the surgery to be, and what improvements to my life will be. Some of these may sound somewhat silly, possibly somewhat offensive, or just generally weird, but that's the way my brain works. These are in no particular order, except roughly the order in which I added them.
  • Be able to keep up with Isaac, who has just turned two (08/30/2002).
  • Be able to go to a movie, without my ass getting stuck in the seat.
  • Be able to fit comfortably in an airplane seat (coach class) for an extended trip, so we can take Isaac to Boston to visit Grandma Oster and the rest of David's family.
  • Be able to fit the same number of pairs of underpants in one drawer, instead of two, as they currently require.
  • Go to a store for pants, and only have to worry about if they're long enough, rather than big enough around.
  • Be able to sleep in a regular bed (we have a waterbed) without the sides of my hips hurting because of the excess weight pressing down all night.
  • Ride down in a slide with Isaac.
  • Have my knees quit hurting, or at least slow the rate of damage to the cartilage.
  • Swim suit. Need I say more?
  • If David is slow coming to bed, not have the side of my hip (I sleep on my side) sink all the way down in the waterbed until it comes into contact with the heater, waking me up with my hip feeling like it's been gently roasted.
  • No more chafing on the inside of my thighs! I tend to wear loose, comfortable dresses, but get really uncomfortable if I have to walk very far.
  • Not have the fronts of my clothing stained with food spills.
  • Go to a movie at a theater and not have the seat bite my butt.
  • Better heat tolerance! I've been told by everyone who's had the surgery that they are always cold, or at least almost always.
  • Be able to get nice underwear at Victoria's Secret (but I will probably never get a thong!). Update: I did try thongs, but am not a big fan. Wear them occasionally, but rarely. I get most of my underwear at Costco (cheap, comfortable cotton bikinis (too much information?)).
  • Different positions. I'll leave it to your imagination what that means.
  • Have less problems finding a vein when I have blood tests or IVs. Right now they have to use the back of my hand, since the others tend to be too hard to find.

Date last modified: 10/20/2004
all contents © 2002-2004 by Eleanor Oster